Pregnancies Are A Pain
by AL19
Summary: When the Yorozuya get a customer, they discover she's pregnant. Not only that, but they are requested to protect her, and her unborn baby, from her violent ex-boyfriend. How will they prevent him from hurting her and her baby?
1. Pregnant Woman

**Hey everyone. I'm back after a year and a half, but I have plenty of things I wanna talk about...which I'll do in the bottom author's note. Until then, hope you enjoy reading.**

* * *

"So let me reiterate your explanation," Gintoki started, crossing his legs in the midst of holding his own chin. "You want us to protect you from your ex-boyfriend—who you state is violent—because he gave you a threat letter, _also_ because you wouldn't get an abortion? _And_ your name is Kanagaki Ami?"

Turning his head to frown at him, Shinpachi said, "Don't tell me you somehow forgot her name."

Sitting across the Yorozuya trio was a woman with short sleek blue hair and brown eyes. She wore a sky-blue kimono with a purple sash.

Placing her hands on her big, round belly, Ami responded, "That is correct."

"Has that thick-headed dummy always been violent? 'Cause that's what it sounds like, uh-huh," Kagura inquired, snacking on her sour treat.

She shook her head. "No. He used to be a level-headed person. I'm not fully sure why he turned violent, but I broke up with him soon after I came to realize his nasty attitude."

"Smart move," Shinpachi said.

Ami nodded in agreement, then went to slightly change the topic, "Anyway, I have another request for all of you."

"What is it, then?" Gintoki asked with a raised eyebrow. "You already want us to protect you and your unborn baby from this unstable person; what more do you want?"

"First of all, being violent doesn't automatically mean unstable," Ami pointed out. "Second, my other request is for you to let me sleep over here for the time being."

No immediate response came from any of the Yorozuya members. Rather, they appeared confused.

The woman let out a sigh. "My ex-boyfriend is roaming around Edo as we speak. Thus, I don't feel comfortable sleeping at my own home until he's taken care of."

Shinpachi pondered, wrapping his hand over his chin. "You do make a good point." Returning his focus on Gintoki, he added, "Gin-san, I think we should let her stay here for now. If she's with us, then it's less likely her ex-boyfriend will suddenly attack her. Of course, we'll still need to be cautious."

Running his fingers through his wavy hair, Gintoki decided after heaving a sigh, "All right, she can stay here for some time. Let's just hope her pregnancy hormones or whatever it is doesn't overpower her and cause her to get pissy with us during her stay."

"I can hear you, you know," Ami told him in a flat tone.

"What's your no-longer-boyfriend's name? You haven't told us yet, nope," Kagura asked as she finished her piece of sukonbu.

"Oh, right. Thank you for reminding me." Ami cleared her throat before informing the three, "His name is Hatoyama Tetsuya. Also…" Digging into her left sleeve, she pulled out a piece of folded white paper.

Shinpachi pointed at said paper. "Is that the threat letter you mentioned a moment ago?"

"It is." She handed them the letter from Tetsuya. "I saw this in my mailbox when I woke up this morning."

Gintoki pinched the paper with his thumb and pinkie before turning it to unfold it. When he did so, however, the writing on it turned out to be...messy.

He squinted his eyes while inching his face closer as though the writing would get clearer. It didn't help. Even Shinpachi and Kagura couldn't make out much of what was written.

"Uh…" Shinpachi held a crooked smile. "Kanagaki-san, we can't exactly comprehend this letter, outside of some hiragana."

Ami folded her arms over her chest. "I can't say I'm surprised. Tetsuya's handwriting hasn't always been the best."

"I'm surprised you can read this at all," Gintoki said, now his turn to frown. "It looks like he failed grade school in terms of writing."

"Yes, but I'm used to sloppy handwriting, so I can make clear as to what it says."

"That makes no sense, but okay," Gintoki deadpanned at her logic as he returned the incoherent letter to her.

Facing the writing towards herself, she began reading it out loud, "'Ami, I regret (Actually, I don't regret) to inform you that I cannot accept this baby. I've tried convincing you to abort this unwanted fetus, but I came to realize how stubborn you are. I wasn't surprised you broke up with me, in fact, I expected this to happen. Why? Because you were too much of a coward to stay with me. You want to run away from me, but knowing where you live since I've been to your home dozens of times, I won't have a problem finding you and getting rid of your unborn child. I refuse to say _our_ child, because I don't want to deal with an annoying pest as it grows up. When will I start going after you? I don't have an answer for that yet, but I will say you better watch out.'"

As soon as she finished, Shinpachi's jaw dropped while Gintoki and Kagura barely scrunched their faces.

"S-So in other words…" Shinpachi stammered; despite struggling to speak, he managed to complete his sentence in a question, "...he w-wants to _kill_ your baby?!"

"Unfortunately, that's the case," Ami replied.

"How are you sounding so calm right now?! This sounds like he wants to cut you open and tear your baby out!"

"Gah, too much information, Patsuan." Gintoki waved his hand up and down, additionally almost gagging at the visual of a uterus being sliced open and having a baby being forced out.

Ami spoke, "Believe me, I had the same reaction as you when I first read it. I managed to regain my composure after an hour."

"I think the fact that you're pregnant is the exact reason for Tetsuya suddenly going violent," Shinpachi guessed, still in shock from hearing the gruesome letter. "Exactly when did he discover you were pregnant?"

"Two weeks ago. He was on a trip for a while. Admittedly, even _I_ didn't realize I was pregnant until I was six months in."

"How do you not notice you're preggers?" Kagura asked. "Babies kick a lot, scream, and play with their gross cords, yep! They even tell you, 'Feed me, mommy!'"

"Kagura-chan, that's not really how it works…" A drop of sweat trailed down Shinpachi's cheek.

Ami said, "There've been plenty of instances where women didn't notice they were pregnant initially. Heck, some didn't even know until they gave birth to their children."

"That sounds kinda scary," Shinpachi admitted.

Balling her hand into a fist and raising it in the air, Kagura said, "If that ever happened to me, I'd feel like I hallucinated to the billionth degree, uh-huh!"

"What an exaggeration," Gintoki droned.

"Kanagaki-san, did you _want_ children?" Shinpachi probed.

"I did, but I wasn't ready before knowing I was pregnant. I mentioned I broke up with Tetsuya because of his attitude, but our relationship got rocky not long before that," Ami confessed.

"Yet you say he used to be level-headed."

"That's still true, but at one point, I witnessed him struggling to keep himself composed. He used to get snippy with me and even invaded my privacy at one point. He also frequently looked at my torso, which weirded me out because he never did that beforehand." Goosebumps formed on her flesh at the memory.

"This is just wild speculation, but it sounds like he was exceptionally paranoid by the thought of you becoming pregnant, because...well, you know how pregnancy happens." Shinpachi shifted his shoulder, avoiding to say anything more explicit.

"That would make sense." Ami pinched the bridge of her nose. "I knew he wasn't a huge fan of children, but does he hate them to the point of wanting to get rid of mine in the most grotesque way possible?"

"Well, if you're gonna be staying here until Tetsuya's in jail, you can sleep on the couch," Gintoki suggested, leaning forward.

"I can't accept that. Just sitting on it makes my bottom numb."

Gintoki groaned. "Why does everyone complain about my couches numbing their asses?"

"Only _she's_ complained, Gin-san," Shinpachi pointed out. He turned to Ami.

"Do you have a guest room?" Ami asked.

"We don't, but you can use Gin-san's room...if he's willing to let you do that."

"Fine," Gintoki said.

Shinpachi's eyes widened. _That was easy._

His head drooped. "I don't wanna deal with lots of pointless complaining all because my couch doesn't suit their needs."

Ami's eyes rolled. "Being pregnant causes certain parts of my body to feel numb; it has nothing to do with the material of your furniture. Besides, I need to have enough room so I don't risk accidentally leaving my sleeping spot."

"Understandable," Shinpachi said. "Oh, there's something else I need to ask. Does anyone else know about this threat letter?"

"You're the only ones I've told. Not that I'm planning on keeping this a secret from other people, so I don't care if you mention this to anyone. However, do keep in mind that I'm planning on having you three—and _only_ you three—to protect me. I don't need a ton of people being my bodyguards. And another thing..." She pulled out a thick brown rectangular envelope from the same sleeve which had the letter. "While I'm unsure how long I'll be here, I'm giving you a generous amount since you're dealing with me while I'm in danger."

After handing it to Gintoki, the latter opened it to check the amount. There was no need to count, as it appeared to be a lot more than they usually received.

Now all three Yorozuya Gin-chan member's had their jaw dropped, almost certain it fell to their laps.

Shinpachi stammered again, only in a different tone, "Th-Th-Thank you for y-your generosity!"

The corners of Ami's lips barely curved into a small smile. Even then, her thoughts continued to focus on Hatoyama Tetsuya.

_Calling him unreasonable would be a huge understatement. He wants to do something so violating...so horrific...and he had the nerve to order me to get an abortion._

Ami involuntarily wrapped her arms around her belly once more.

_Even if I wanted an abortion, I realized my pregnancy too little, too late. At this point, I'm almost at the end of my third and final trimester._

* * *

**All right, now that you've (Most likely) read the first chapter of this story, I need to bring up some important bits, mostly about what I've been up to since I finished writing "Trouble is my Middle Name!", but some things for this story will be mentioned as well.**

**Anyway, if you've read my profile, then you'll already know I've written a novel, titled "A Demon For A Birthday" (It was initially for NaNoWriMo 2018, but when I was more than halfway done with the story, I came to realize that it wasn't gonna end up being over 50,000 words. Hell, I didn't even finish it before November ended, but I suppose that's a good thing. Can you imagine how awkward it would've been if I _did_ finish it within that month? lol). If you _haven't_ read my profile and you're interested in my original story I just mentioned, then check said profile now so you can see where to find me on social media.**

**You may also recall that this is the first out of five future stories (Well, this one isn't "future" anymore since I'm posting this now, but you get the point) I plan to write before I retire from Fanfiction. I've stated it was because I don't feel as passionate with writing it as much as I used to. If I'm to be completely honest with you all, I think because of this, I'm feeling less comfortable with writing Fanfiction. While there're certainly ideas that sound interesting for me to write, I'm only gonna do four more after this.**

**Now onto the story. Funny enough, I actually finished planning this one around four and a half years ago, but because I was so focused on writing my other fic, that I had to put this off for a while. Somewhat recently, I decided, "Y'know what? I'm gonna start on this eventually." And...well, you know the rest. Sorry if this isn't very interesting, but I needed to have the main issue discussed. Hopefully, I'll be able to make it more interesting as the story goes on.**

**Oh, and heads up, this fic isn't gonna be very long.**

**That's all I have to say for this author's note.**


	2. Cravings

**Here's the second chapter.**

* * *

Since Gintoki allowed Ami to sleep in his room for better comfort until Tetsuya was taken care of, the woman managed to get a good night sleep. It was nothing short of a joy for her to admit she didn't have to get paranoid from her ex-boyfriend barging into the building and attacking her. Especially when he had no clue where she currently was.

However, something quickly dawned on her. She'd have to go outside at some point, most importantly when her baby was ready to pop out. No way would she give birth in the Yorozuya Gin-chan's home, due to none of them being doctors or even nurses.

Gintoki and Kagura left the building some time ago to help out with another request from a different customer. Because Ami would've gotten in the way in she came along, Shinpachi had to stay behind and attend her in case anything serious would happen.

Shinpachi finished with the dishes, and by the time he returned to the living room, Ami spoke, "Shimura-san."

"Yes?"

"I'd like you to take me to the store."

Though hesitant, Shinpachi asked, "What for?"

"Bananas."

"Okay, but I think it's better if you stay here. The store's not far, so I can make it back within fifteen or twenty minutes."

Ami shook her head. "I'm afraid I can't allow that."

The boy frowned. "Why not?"

"I can't have Tetsuya come in here and start attacking without someone to protect me."

"I thought he didn't know where you were staying."

"That was my first thought...until I realized he could possibly be spying on me before he makes his move." Ami chewed on her fingernails at the thought. "And I thought I was the kind of person who doesn't notice these things initially."

A drop of sweat trailed down Shinpachi's cheek. "That never crossed my mind. I guess I can bring you along. I'll just need to watch out for him...hold on..." His eyes broadened while Ami mirrored his reaction.

They both said in unison, "I've/You've never told you/me what he looks like."

Rubbing her eyes, Ami added, "I feel stupid. How did I not tell you or Sakata-san and Kagura-san about his appearance beforehand?"

"Don't feel bad," Shinpachi told her with a crooked smile. "You were more focused about your safety, so I don't necessarily blame you for not mentioning it previously."

"Well, I'll tell you now." Ami did just that.

When she finished, Shinpachi gave her a brief nod. "I got it now. You'll just need to say the same thing when Gin-san and Kagura-chan return."

"Right. Anyway, let's go."

**Later…**

At the closest grocery store, Ami placed piles of the fruit in her and Shinpachi's basket. To be more specific, there were almost thirty bananas in total. Shinpachi didn't have an issue with Ami's craving itself, but he couldn't remember the last time a pregnant person would want to buy this much of any food in one day. Then again, he very rarely knew anybody who was pregnant to begin with.

Shinpachi muttered, his arms trembling from the weight of the basket he held, "I know pregnant women usually have cravings, but is the _amount_ of bananas necessary?"

Ami seemed to have heard him, because she made her response, "It is. Sure, it may get me constipated after eating a couple in one day, but it's better than me getting cranky from eating none."

Shinpachi held a crooked smile. _I don't think it'd make that much of a difference._

Rather than saying his inner thought out loud to avoid possibly being rude, he asked, "Do you need more?"

"No," Ami answered, "I think this is good enough for now."

Shinpachi suppressed a sigh. _That's a relief. I don't think I'd be able to carry this basket at all if one more bunch was put in here._

Meanwhile, Ami held the handle of her basket with ease.

Shinpachi added mentally, _It's kind of ironic how I'm struggling to carry my basket, yet Kanagaki-san can do it without breaking a sweat, despite being more susceptible of having back pain due to being pregnant. Maybe she was strong, even before she got pregnant…?_

"Why're you staring off into space?" Ami suddenly asked, bring the teenage boy out of his thoughts.

"Sorry. I don't have a real reason." When noticing she'd gotten close to one of the checkout lines, Shinpachi hurried himself to catch up to her.

Moments after deciding to pay the almost three dozens of fruit, the bananas were placed in multiple bags, both Shinpachi and Ami each carrying two.

While Shinpachi remained quiet, Ami tugged her arm under her second pair of bag handles before snatching a banana from the plastic carrier.

"Kanagaki-san, you shouldn't be eating a banana in public. That's bad manners," Shinpachi scolded with a deep frown when she peeled it and started eating the food.

"I'm aware of that," She admitted. "However, my cravings are roaring at me like Satan."

"Okay, that was a little extreme…" Shinpachi halted when something caught his eye.

Ami's butt continuously went side to side.

"Uh, why is your bottom doing that?"

The woman arched an eyebrow. "Doing what?"

"Moving to the sides exaggeratedly."

"My feet hurt."

"Well, I understand, but...it looks like one of those movements where people try to be sexy."

Now it was her turn to frown. "I'm not trying to be sexy. Besides, people usually don't find pregnancy attractive."

"Do you think you could try to stop doing that?" He suggested.

Ami faltered. "I don't like the idea, but I'll try." She made an attempt to still her butt or at least try to not let it go to both sides wildly.

But the second her endeavor started, the muscles on both Ami's feet felt as though they were being pulled.

Dropping her banana and her two bags, gravity pulled her body straight to the ground.

"Kanagaki-san?!" Shinpachi exclaimed as Ami rolled on the dirt road, holding her feet.

"My feet are cramping! Shimura-san, make it stop!" She cried.

"Wh-What do you want me to do?! Rub your feet while people stare at us?!"

"I don't know! Try pulling me up!" Ami ordered.

Shinpachi picked up the bags she accidentally dropped before grabbing her hands.

_Why does this have to be so complicated? All I did was ask her to not move her butt around!_

**Meanwhile…**

In a more remote area of Edo lived a man sitting in the living room of his home. His hair was short and green, with some of it covering his ears, and his eyes were navy blue. His attire consisted of a dark green keikogi and a brown hakama.

His right leg rested over his opposite one as his irises scanned the paper lying on the table in front.

He hummed at the sight of his writing and drawings on said paper. One of them—no, the _whole thing_ mentioning Kanagaki Ami.

_I can't recall how long I thought this through, but I don't care. It's better than going at her carelessly._

Brushing his thumb and index finger on his cleft chin, a wicked smirk plastered on his features.

"I'll get you, Ami. I just need to know where you are so I can deal with you once and for all."

* * *

**Welp, Gintama's no longer being published in GIGA. Instead, it'll be in some app. I'm gonna be blunt here, I'm getting pretty annoyed with Sorachi continuously saying he's close to finishing it, yet finds out it's the opposite. I'm trying not to sound whiny, and I'm still a fan of Gintama, but it gets tiring when this keeps happening. Same goes for the anime insisting on continuing so soon, despite the possibility of catching up to the manga in a snap.**

**Phew. Sorry, just wanted to get that off my chest.**

**Anyway, that's all I have to say in this author's note.**


End file.
